Tuesday, October 11, 2005
it's funny how ppl change.
i dunno. was like surfing blogs..den got linked to tons of ppl i hafnt been tokking to for a long time..n u realise tt after being non-existent in their lives for like half their lives, u suddenly realise de drastic change. i mean, mebbe if i was in their lives all along, i wldnt really detect anything significant..but like suddenly i see or tok to dem again, den reality strikes me..like WOW...change so much arh...anw wad m i tokking about..i dunnoo..i always feel like i m damn incoherent when i m blogging..coz it's like tokking to myself..like tokking my thoughts..instead of thinking my thoughts..i mean like instead of being in de brains, it;s now like..erm typed out.. i dunno lah..argh ok wadeva..
anw, i was thinking, lit has made me a more cynical person..especially gothic lit.. like all my previous mindsets about life ahs changed..ive changed qt a bit over de yrs i think..aiyah..but tt's qt duh.. yah..like so far de only bks tt hasnt made me more cynical care 12th night n little prince..which is y i like dem so much..o yah..n our town..sriously..it's like a plotless book..n i slept a zillion times while reading it..but at d end i still cried... hah..anw i think my tears r getting more worthless..it's a bit weird..coz de older i get de more i cry...mebbe it';s just coz i get to learn more n more about life's misery..or mebbe coz my tears r really getting cheaper..hah..n i was watching mona lisa smile vcd.n i din like de show AT ALL. it was such a grave dissapointment. n yet, i still cried in de end. de after tt im still like it's a lousy show. n it made me pissed. i felt like i wasted my time watching it. tt's de prob wif watching movies lah. if it;s not gd u get damn gekked, n instead of deriving entertainment, u derive displeasure .. anw i was thinking i shd go get a nice bk tt i can read over de post promos period..rmb last yr i was reading nicholas sparks's crap i forgot de name of de bk..o yah..de notebook..but i can still rmb de plot qt well..haha.. yah..i creid like siao..n for days..n i was immensely touched...it's this kinda bks tt give u more hope in life, but at de same time, remind u tt fairy tales dun exist..anw i think sparks is damn gd wif words..it;s like he puts a few simple words tog to form a phrase n u just feel this whole surge of different emotions upon reading dem..n he said tt lit cannot be analysed..it has to be felt..i think tt's wad he meant, when u read smth n just feel so much w/o knowing why...
i think ive been rambling qt a bit.heh.
o anw post promos period is damn fun... went out wif 4/3'04 ppl, jilyn, lian, xiutang, huibin, tai tai.. heh..i feel like part of jilyn's class lah... haha...o n sharon!!! we even had a slpover! it was like girl talk n all night thru(ok morning) it was damn sweet..hahah...im gng for fest of sports tmr..better be gd..haha..anw i;m happy de way things r now..but den agian, being human, dere is always this thing in me tt tells me things cld be better..haha..so i hope things go well..despite everything, i still bel;ieve in de goodness of Man.. haha...ok i read smth like tt frm sum famous person sopmewhere b4..so i m kinda rephrasing it a bit..i shall continue to bliff in de goodness of an despite being bombarded by so many new discoveries about de bad stuff...life is beautiful:)
teo
11:26 PM
